Today marks my 22nd Father’s Day. I am continually learning what it means to be a father and part of me wishes that I hadn’t entered fatherhood with so little knowledge of what it means to be a dad. However, that is the way of things. We always live from our current ignorance and hopefully keep learning and growing along the way. Perhaps that is why grandchildren are such a blessing (I hope to have some one day) as they offer us a second chance at being knowledgeable and wise parental figures. Anyhow, here is what is going through my head this Father’s Day:
In Richard Rohr’s excellent new book, “The Universal Christ”, he writes, “Everything visible, without exception, is the outpouring of God. What else could it be? ‘Christ’ is a word for the Primordial Template (“Logos”) through whom ‘all things came into being, and not one thing had its being except through Him’ (John 1:3).”
If Rohr and the apostle John are correct, it would seem that God is in fact, not just the Father of professing Christians. He is the Father of all and all are His Children. He is also the father of every thing! This is simply an objective truth that quantum science even points to. (Without of course naming God as God. The terms “universe or field are most often used. There is only one source of energy in the universe and all matter originated from it.)
Now, if the term “father” doesn’t exactly give you the “warm and fuzzies”, I get it. I never enjoyed a close relationship with my father. But this is not really just about a title. It’s more about what it takes to have a healthy relationship.
It’s all about relationship born out of participation.
Imagine if you would, a father who has 3 daughters. (I’ll use this example because I happen to be the father of 3 daughters). This man is objectively the father of these three young ladies. The problem is…He is always working. He is well intentioned, just misguided. He wants to provide well for his family, but at what cost? He leaves for work before anyone else is awake and comes home late, going straight to bed. Maybe he takes one day off during the week, but only has the energy to sit and watch T.V. Of course, feeling bad about not spending time with his children, he buys them lots of nice stuff which they appreciate, but what’s missing?
There’s no participation. Thus, no relationship. He’s only their dad in the objective sense. Subjectively, he isn’t a father. This is also the case with fathers who physically present with their family, but emotionally absent from their children.
Imagine a second scenario. This father is attentive to his daughters, reaching out to them and spending time with them, playing an active role in their personal development and just enjoying being with them. The only problem is that one daughter tells the father that she hates him. She tells him that he’s not her dad and refuses to have meaningful engagement with him. There is complete rejection on her part for any potential relationship.
Again, He’s only her dad in an objective sense. Subjectively, he isn’t a father to her. How can he be if she won’t let him?
For any potential of relationship, in order for it to be actualized, there must be participation both ways. Everyone in the family belongs there and are already part of the group, but cannot enjoy the benefits of being a family until there is mutual participation.
Ever wonder why there is so much division, hurt and evil in the world? It’s not because some people belong and others don’t. It’s because we see others as not belonging—as less important than me. It’s because we refuse to participate in the flow of Love which IS the engine of the whole universe.
If you live in a family which is divided and unpleasant because one or more members refuse to participate in being a family, you have a good picture of what hell is. Hell is NOT a place where you go after you die to be tortured for all of eternity because you didn’t believe the “correct” things about God.
Hell is anytime you believe someone doesn’t belong—and treat them that way. Hell is what happens when you block love from others and you withhold love from them. Hell is the life you have when you don’t participate in relationship. Have you ever noticed in the gospels, that the only people who Jesus talked to about “Hell” were the religious and political leaders who excluded others? Whereas, He embraced and accepted the prostitutes, thieves, and other “sinners”. Do you go to a church where you are taught that some people are excluded for not believing the “right” things or doing the wrong things? Do you teach such things? Jesus just might have something to say to you…
The way of Christ is recognizing that we all belong. Jesus didn’t come to give us a list of things we must believe and a bunch of rules to follow so that God will let us into heaven some day. He came to show us our true value as people who are all a part of the family. People who all belong. People who are already accepted by God. People who are an expression of the only source of life that there is—the I Am. The one who IS existence!
This Fathers Day, take a look in the mirror and know that you belong. God already loves and accepts you no matter who you are or what you have done and there’s nothing you can do to change that! You exist because God wanted to express Himself as you and wants relationship with you. Look at others around you. Recognize that they also belong. They exist because God thought them important enough to bring into being for the purpose of relationship.
We all belong. Let’s participate together in that. Life is relationship!