What Do We Remember?

In my hometown there is a WWII air museum.  It has one of the last intact Lancaster bombers on display.  Volunteers recently rebuilt and restored all four engines. Several times a year, this airplane will be brought outside and they fire up those mighty engines.  It’s an impressive display and always draws a large crowd.  Nanton, Alberta is a small community…with a population of only 2000 souls, but big enough that I’m always astounded at how loud the roar of the Lancaster’s engines are no matter where you are in town.  

Loud and ominous like a distant rolling thunder.  

Last summer I stood there in the crowd and observed the engine run as I have many times before.  On this occasion I imagined that I was back in time when this aircraft was fulfilling its intended purpose.  I imagined that I was on the ground and hearing the approaching death.  The terror that must have been felt as the last sound those people heard was the loud, angry roar of those engines with no place to hide.  

Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”  What does this have to do with a Lancaster bomber?  It has to do with how we as humans have always tried to deal with conflict. How many wars have we fought with the idea that it will ultimately result in peace?  How many wars do we need to fight in the future before we finally figure out that we are indeed collectively insane?

There are those who have actually used nonviolence and diplomacy in the past.  They have left an indelible mark on the pages of history.  The most notable ones that immediately come to mind are; Mahatma Gandhi, Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus of Nazareth.  They showcased the power of non-violence and became beacons of hope that there might be a way out of the downward vortex of human hatred and fighting. Can you imagine a world in which people like this are not the exception, but the rule?  Imagine if they represented  a normalized response to conflict?  

We know that violence perpetuates more violence and it just keeps escalating with each retaliation. This is well documented. We also know that forgiveness absorbs the blow of violence and when that destructive energy is recycled into forgiveness, there is healing and potential for relationship.  Yes, it is risky. It is costly, but it ALWAYS leads to the greater good of humanity. 

Allow me to quote the inspired words of Andrew Klager as written in Brad Jersak’s book, “A More Christlike Way”:

“Those who say Jesus Way of nonviolence and peacemaking are naïve and unrealistic reveal that they think is the most real.  The kingdoms of this world are more real to them than the kingdom of God.

Violence never creates peace, only a lull. It defeats or exhausts your opponents without dealing with the conditions that first created the violence.  Defeating the other only puts us in the position of power (e.g. the Treaty of Versailles). We become the belligerent who exacerbates the problem. The pseudo-peace only buys time for the defeated to reload. The next war becomes the inevitable. Violence doesn’t work—killing only enrages the clan and escalation comes next. The next retribution must always be one step higher.  It’s a naïve non-solution. 

Compassion and kindness, by contrast, have real potential to tap into and draw out the true self of our world-be enemies. Compassion and kindness are more effective than bullets and bombs because they awaken what is more real than this life. However twisted, we are still humans created in the image of God. Peacebuilding is effective in awakening the kingdom of God in this world because it IS more real.”  

This remembrance day, let us indeed remember. 

Not the glory of victory. Not the triumph of standing with our boot on the neck of our enemy. 

As we attend remembrance day services, stand there at museums, air shows and military demonstrations, instead of celebrating our victories and superior weaponry, let us feel sorrow at our lust for violence. Let us regret our creation of the war machines on display.  Let’s remember the senseless deaths of our soldiers. Let’s also remember the needless deaths of our enemies. And mourn both. 

Let’s remember that there is no such thing as just war. There is no such thing as righteous violence. Let’s remember that war has never worked to create lasting peace and never will. 

Let’s remember and work towards the sanity of non-violence. 

What Are You Scared Of?

Want to know what scares me almost more than anything else?

Dentists

I think I’m not alone in this. Let’s face it. Nobody goes to the dentist for pleasure.  I think I might have a deeper fear than some others though.  It’s a childhood fear having to do with my upper right front tooth. When I was ten years old, I was pushed lips first into a cinderblock wall by two bullies. That tooth broke and for the next dozen years I underwent multiple procedures in an effort to have a permanent false tooth.  I finally got my permanent tooth when I was twenty two years old after my last temporary one broke. The procedure involved grinding down the broken tooth to a small stump.  Also a root canal with pins inserted into the bone to give the permanent tooth a good foundation.  It was a good fix and the tooth still serves me well twenty five years later. The problem is, I was so nervous about going to the dentist after that (in 1995) that I didn’t go again until I had a horrible toothache from multiple cavities in 2018. I went again a couple of weeks ago to deal with another four cavities. I still don’t like going there, but the fear is slowly going away.

Fear is an interesting thing. It can be helpful to be fearful of reasonable things in order to keep us save and alive. We can also develop unreasonable fears, which are counterproductive and keep us from living healthy, joyful lives.  Neuroscientists tell us that the prefrontal cortex and amygdala in your brain are responsible for fear based responses. When we have a traumatic experience, It causes us, when triggered, to bypass reason and engage the fight/flight response. It is automatic, just like when you burn yourself and your hand moves away from the hot object before you can even process what happened.  

One of these unreasonable and unhelpful—even detrimental fears that we can have, is religious, existential fear.  I always find it interesting…also frustrating, how when I end up having a conversation about theology with my family and friends who still believe that God punishes most of His created beings in an eternal torture chamber called Hell, most times they just shut down.  Fear and anger are triggered and they simply cannot have a calm, rational conversation anymore. They do not want to hear information that is contrary to what they have been taught all of their lives.

Why is there such a fear based response to the good news that God is actually as nice as Jesus and that He is more like a restorative doctor than a retributive judge?  Why are the religious fundamentalists not jumping for joy that the gospel really is good news? Why can’t they listen when I show them how historically, exegetically, morally and philosophically, the idea of eternal punishment is man-made, unreasonable and just plain untenable?  What keeps them from being excited and hopeful that the gospel is not only an eschatology, but a present reality of universal restoration?

Most of these people have been taught as I was—as young, impressionable children that there is an all powerful being out there who is rather disappointed with you because you were born sinful.  Of course it doesn’t matter that you were apparently thrust into existence apart from personal consent and immediately burdened with original sin which wasn’t even your fault.  Of course the only way to escape the infinite, unimaginable torture which lasts forever (the human brain cannot even process the concept of infinity) is to believe the correct idea about God in a world with thousands of ideas about God.  Of course it gives you an advantage if you are born in the right country and into the right family. And what you have to believe, is that God can’t forgive without being paid off first—which doesn’t really even make sense.  God killed His own son (who is also God) and got it out of His system so that He doesn’t have to punish you.  But if you don’t believe this, He will STILL punish you!  Forever!

Teaching children this nonsense is child abuse.

This kind of mental trauma gets stuck in the prefrontal cortex.  There is irrational fear when confronted later on in life with ideas of a God who really is love and cannot coerce, or hate, or punish retributively or behave an any way that is not love.  They are actually scared that God will punish them for listening to these ideas. Reason is bypassed and the fight/flight response kicks in. 

What’s the solution?

Patience. 

Trauma like that takes time to heal. The more I go to the dentist to fix the years of neglect to my teeth, the more I realize that he is there for my healing and restoration.  The punishment I endure is not comfortable, but he is working to ultimately take away my pain and to give me a better life. I’m less nervous every time I book an appointment. 

You will never change a religious persons mind by arguing with them.  Believe me…I’ve tried that and it does not work!  I’m realizing as time goes on that the only way to convince these people, is to patiently be God’s love to them. To meet them where they are and accept them as they are, ironically without the agenda of convincing them.  Perhaps as they experience God’s unconditional love from you, they will come to understand that no matter how loving you are, God is far more loving. One day they might come to the life changing realization that one simply cannot overestimate God’s love and mercy. From my own experience I can say that once I felt safe, my mind was ready to learn what my heart had always known!

Now the healing can begin as the divine dentist is able to extract the toxic decay of poor theology and self identity, leading them to wholeness of life. 

This is salvation!

Why Racism?

“I just hate having to sit in front of a black person!”, said the young boy to his friend—quite loudly on the school bus. This brash statement was observed during the third week of the new school year, and what made it particularity significant to me, is that it was observed by my youngest daughter who sits two rows behind this young boy.  

You see, my daughter is black.  And yes, she came home in tears that day.  Someone thought she didn’t deserve any dignity because she happens to have beautiful dark skin. That’s all.  My daughter is one of the sweetest and most empathetic souls I personally know. I may very well be biased, but I do believe that she is also the prettiest girl in the whole school. And yet, this white boy was not able or willing to look past the colour of her skin to see that.  Why?  Because she is different from him. I don’t believe for a moment that racism is something inherent in humanity. It is a learned behaviour. But what causes it?  

I believe that racism can be traced back to fear, which comes from living your life with an assumption of scarcity.  When you live day to day with the assumption that life is a zero sum game. That there is not enough for everyone, this leads—quite naturally to fearful competition for limited resources.  Self preservation is a strong instinct. And most people are more than willing to do what it takes to look after # 1. 

Me.

This kind of mentality shows up in religion and politics as well. In religion, there is often an assumption that God doesn’t have enough love to go around for everyone.  Therefore, only the few people who believe the correct things can experience God’s love. It becomes important to embrace certitude, that I am right about what I believe about God and those other people are wrong.  In fact, their wrongness is a threat because they are obviously leading people that I care about (and possibly even me) into deception and thus divine punishment. In their minds, love is conditional and limited.  

In politics, working together for the common good by gleaning quality ideas from other parties we don’t necessarily entirely agree with is traded for partisan politics. We demonize and disregard those of other political affiliations, becoming societally fractured and backward in the process.

They are different from me and therefore a threat. And so we turn our gaze to others that look and think like ourselves and surround ourselves with them. This is a means of ultimately protecting myself, by advantaging others who are just like me. It’s like having a layer of insulation around yourself. Subsequently, we push others away who are different and in our perception are a threat to my self preservation. We dehumanize because it’s easier to hate those whom we can perceive as less human.  We identify them not by who they are, but by how they are different from me. 

That person is black

That person is a liberal

That person is a Muslim. 

What’s the solution?  The opposite of fear is love. Love as defined by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 does not leave any room for fear.  That is why John in John 4:18 says that “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment.”  Most often the punishment we fear is the actualization of scarcity that we bring upon ourselves by living in that very mindset of scarcity. 

What would happen if we woke up to the reality that we do live in an abundant universe where there is enough for everyone?  Where self preservation is not necessary because others are looking out for me as I look out for them?  What if we realized that the One who is being itself exists as unconditional, limitless, self emptying love?  What if we realized that we are all one with the One who is existence and if we participate in that praxis of self emptying love there will be no division, no lack, no perceived difference?  

No fear

No racism

What if John Lennon was right in his song “Imagine”?

Immersed

As I sit in my kayak, floating on the placid mountain lake, I take the paddle out of the water and just glide slowly.  

The cool breeze refreshes me as I have been paddling hard. The summer sun is powerful and makes me feel more than alive.  The only sounds are birds chattering, an occasional insect buzzing past and the distant sound of children laughing on the rocky beach.  The gentle swell of the water laps against my boat.  My eyes take in the panoramic view of tall, snow capped mountains surrounding me. 

Floating on water, yet immersed in the moment.  I am only aware of beauty and majesty surrounding me and am struck by one thought.

God, the one who is being, though whom everything exists and has being, is also enjoying this moment.  The eternal one is experiencing this moment through me. 

As me.

There are mystics that say that there is only one joy—and only one suffering.  There is only one being in this universe and one consciousness who has given us distinctiveness apart from Himself. And yet we remain one.  Hardly ever aware of it, but that doesn’t change the fact that we are.  

Entwined

Inseparable

Rumi once said, “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”  Sometimes I wonder—where does God end and where do I begin?  That is not to embrace pantheism which believes that everything is God.  This is panenthiesm.  The recognition that God permeates everything while letting everything have it’s distinctiveness.  It’s as Richard Rohr says, recognizing that we are in a “Christ soaked world.”

It’s one thing to experience joy and peace—to recognize God with me, experiencing this with and through me, but what about when I feel like I am swallowed up in the darkness of pain.  What about the times when I feel God has abandoned me?  I have to realize that God also experiences this with me as well.  I know that God has experienced this in the person of Jesus as He hung on the cross, dying and had he not been suffocating, would have screamed to the heavens.  Instead, He choked out a breathless, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?”  

It’s these times that makes me realize that God is not all powerful.  I think we insult and minimize God by thinking of Him as such.  This gives me comfort. I don’t feel safe with a God who is all powerful, who can stop bad things from happening, but doesn’t. I do feel very safe with a God, however, who is all vulnerable.  Who’s power is in irresistible invitation.  One who co-suffers with me.  One who completely understands my human condition and situation—and still pours love into me like an artesian well.  One who will never give up on me, even if I should go to the grave rejecting this love.  This love has no expiry date.  

“You are that part of God that He does not control, but let be. In the God for whom all things are possible, you are one of those possibilities in the process of being realized. A unique aspect of Her beauty is unfolding in your existence … never before did God exist the way He/She exists in you!”—Andre Rabe

How free are you?

Freedom is a great concept.  And for most of us, it remains as that.  

Just a concept. 

An ideal that we want, that we fight for, but something that hardly anyone actually experiences in this life.  Us Canadians celebrate the incorporation of our country on July 1st. And you Americans of course celebrate your independence on July 4.  Freedom from Britain.  Freedom from the man.  We can do whatever the hell we want now! Right?

Well, I just bought a piece of land recently and guess what?  I’m not free to do anything on it without a government issued permit.  I can’t build my house, garage or anything else without permission—on my own land! In fact, I can only build a certain amount of structures and am flat out not allowed to build anything on certain parts of my land.  Know what else bothers me?  Speed limits. My motorcycle can easily do 250 kph, but I’m only allowed to go 110 on the major highways. 

I don’t feel very free.  Poor me.

There seems to be a lot of government interference in this country of mine. 

It’s interesting going to a country with very little government interference where people are indeed allowed great freedom.  I’ve been to Haiti numerous times.  There aren’t a lot of rules there.  And the rules that exist are rarely enforced for lack of resources.  You can build whatever and wherever you want if you are so fortunate as to own land, as is obvious by the random and chaotic streets of poorly built structures throughout Haiti.   You can drive as fast as the potholes in the road will allow.  There’s little or no traffic control, so you are free to enjoy a one hour commute through Port Au Prince…covering three whole kilometres. Employers are free to underpay their workers.  Thieves are free to break into your home. 

Hmmmm…doesn’t feel like freedom either. I don’t think that freedom can be freedom if it becomes a zero sum game.  My freedom is no longer your freedom if it tramples over your freedom and vice versa. 

What then is true freedom?

In John 8:31-36, John recollects this story of Jesus—someone who was living under oppressive Roman occupation whom most of us would not consider to be very free: “So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word (Logic—way of thinking)*, then you are truly disciples (followers)* of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never yet been enslaved to anyone; how is it that You say, ‘You will become free’?” Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son does remain forever.  So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.”

*My explanation of terms in brackets

Jesus doesn’t seem to conflate “freedom” with the ability to do whatever we please with no one telling us we can’t do it.  This freedom Jesus speaks of seems to have everything to do with not being held down and controlled by sin.  If you have read a previous article of mine called “What’s So Bad About Sin?”, you will be familiar with the idea that sin is not a failure to measure up to God’s moral perfection. Sin is when we reckon ourselves to be less valuable than God says we are. It’s when you believe what the church has told about yourself—that you were born morally depraved and separated from God.  It’s when you believe what your parents or teachers have perhaps told you—that you will never measure up to their standards—that you will never amount to anything in this world.  It’s when you believe what perhaps your friends and coworkers tell you—that you just aren’t good enough.

When we privilege the voices of others over what God has already said about us, we lose who we are.  We aren’t free to live like who we really are.  

Sometimes when we feel like we aren’t good enough, we can latch onto substitute ideas as to who we are.  We can end up believing that we are what we do. It’s really tempting too, especially if you are good at what you do.  You may “gain the world”, but you just may lose your soul—who you really are in the process. Though you may appear free and successful in this world, you have lost your freedom and are enslaved to the false idea of the image you are trying to project of yourself.

If I am a successful businessman, I don’t want to be seen as a failure.  I cannot afford to!  As soon as I am perceived as such, it has a very direct effect on my financial success. I have become a slave to my success and have traded my freedom for a false image and the temporary financial luxuries that come with it. Poor people are no better off as they are often stuck in a mentality of failure and won’t even bother attempting great things.  In the religious world, people who are known to live by high moral standards are terrified at the idea of being connected to anything or anyone immoral and are not free to be around people of low moral standards.  They are enslaved by their own sense of morality.  On the flip side, people of low moral standards already think of themselves as failures and just like the poor person, won’t even bother to try to behave well as they believe they can never change.

Who am I really?  The writers of Genesis had a very healthy idea of human identity. They recognized that there is only one source of life and love in the universe. That this source (God) is good. That nothing besides good can possibly come from this source (including us) and that we are in fact made in God’s image (we are an expression of God).  Evil and non-freedom only exist when we refuse to participate in the reality of who we truly are. 

It’s really quite impossible for anyone to experience true freedom until they believe the truth that Jesus presents to us.  That being, that God is good and by extension—not by any virtue of your own, but by the virtue of the one you are an extension of, you are good too.

I wonder if the more we let go of the false images and expectations of ourselves, that maybe personal freedom to do what we want becomes less interesting and attractive?  I’m not sure. I know I’m not there yet.

As we celebrate freedom this weekend, don’t settle for celebrating a cheap knock-off version.  One that depends on an us vs. them dichotomy—one that needs to be a zero sum game.  I don’t think that there’s actually a lot of free people out there. Let’s introduce freedom to the world around us by treating others with dignity, regardless of who they are or what they have done. 

It’s time to free those enslaved by the religious and cultural ideas of success. This weekend, let’s begin to participate in the continuing work that Jesus started—in taking away the sins of the world, bringing true freedom!

Fatherhood, Family and Participation

Today marks my 22nd Father’s Day.  I am continually learning what it means to be a father and part of me wishes that I hadn’t entered fatherhood with so little knowledge of what it means to be a dad.  However, that is the way of things.  We always live from our current ignorance and hopefully keep learning and growing along the way. Perhaps that is why grandchildren are such a blessing (I hope to have some one day) as they offer us a second chance at being knowledgeable and wise parental figures.  Anyhow, here is what is going through my head this Father’s Day:  

In Richard Rohr’s excellent new book, “The Universal Christ”, he writes, “Everything visible, without exception, is the outpouring of God. What else could it be? ‘Christ’ is a word for the Primordial Template (“Logos”) through whom ‘all things came into being, and not one thing had its being except through Him’ (John 1:3).”

If Rohr and the apostle John are correct, it would seem that God is in fact, not just the Father of professing Christians.  He is the Father of all and all are His Children. He is also the father of every thing!  This is simply an objective truth that quantum science even points to. (Without of course naming God as God.  The terms “universe or field are most often used.  There is only one source of energy in the universe and all matter originated from it.)

Now, if the term “father” doesn’t exactly give you the “warm and fuzzies”, I get it. I never enjoyed a close relationship with my father.  But this is not really just about a title.  It’s more about what it takes to have a healthy relationship. 

It’s all about relationship born out of participation.

Imagine if you would, a father who has 3 daughters.  (I’ll use this example because I happen to be the father of 3 daughters). This man is objectively the father of these three young ladies. The problem is…He is always working. He is well intentioned, just misguided.  He wants to provide well for his family, but at what cost?  He leaves for work before anyone else is awake and comes home late, going straight to bed.  Maybe he takes one day off during the week, but only has the energy to sit and watch T.V.  Of course, feeling bad about not spending time with his children, he buys them lots of nice stuff which they appreciate, but what’s missing?

There’s no participation. Thus, no relationship.  He’s only their dad in the objective sense.  Subjectively, he isn’t a father.  This is also the case with fathers who physically present with their family, but emotionally absent from their children.  

Imagine a second scenario.  This father is attentive to his daughters, reaching out to them and spending time with them, playing an active role in their personal development and just enjoying being with them.  The only problem is that one daughter tells the father that she hates him.  She tells him that he’s not her dad and refuses to have meaningful engagement with him.  There is complete rejection on her part for any potential relationship.  

Again, He’s only her dad in an objective sense.  Subjectively, he isn’t a father to her.  How can he be if she won’t let him?

For any potential of relationship, in order for it to be actualized, there must be participation both ways.  Everyone in the family belongs there and are already part of the group, but cannot enjoy the benefits of being a family until there is mutual participation.

Ever wonder why there is so much division, hurt and evil in the world?  It’s not because some people belong and others don’t.  It’s because we see others as not belonging—as less important than me.  It’s because we refuse to participate in the flow of Love which IS the engine of the whole universe. 

If you live in a family which is divided and unpleasant because one or more members refuse to participate in being a family, you have a good picture of what hell is.  Hell is NOT a place where you go after you die to be tortured for all of eternity because you didn’t believe the “correct” things about God.

Hell is anytime you believe someone doesn’t belong—and treat them that way.  Hell is what happens when you block love from others and you withhold love from them. Hell is the life you have when you don’t participate in relationship. Have you ever noticed in the gospels, that the only people who Jesus talked to about “Hell” were the religious and political leaders who excluded others?  Whereas, He embraced and accepted the prostitutes, thieves, and other “sinners”.  Do you go to a church where you are taught that some people are excluded for not believing the “right” things or doing the wrong things?  Do you teach such things?  Jesus just might have something to say to you…

The way of Christ is recognizing that we all belong. Jesus didn’t come to give us a list of things we must believe and a bunch of rules to follow so that God will let us into heaven some day.  He came to show us our true value as people who are all a part of the family. People who all belong. People who are already accepted by God.  People who are an expression of the only source of life that there is—the I Am.  The one who IS existence!

This Fathers Day, take a look in the mirror and know that you belong.  God already loves and accepts you no matter who you are or what you have done and there’s nothing you can do to change that!  You exist because God wanted to express Himself as you and wants relationship with you.  Look at others around you. Recognize that they also belong.  They exist because God thought them important enough to bring into being for the purpose of relationship.  

We all belong.  Let’s participate together in that. Life is relationship!

What’s So Bad About Sin?

What’s So Bad About Sin?

I was brought to the hospitals emergency entrance with a gruesome and painful injury. My left shoulder had become completely dislocated. My arm hung uselessly with my shoulder totally out of the socket and the pain was building to an intensity that was almost unbearable.

The emergency doctor looked at me with anger and disgust yelling, “What the hell are you doing here looking like that?  That is absolutely disgusting!  What makes you think that all of us here need to see that?  Did you think of me?  Did you consider what seeing that is doing to my well being?  Besides, it is against the law to dislocate your shoulder.  You will be punished for this!!!”

They gathered around and beat me.  The doctors and nurses knocked me off of the gurney and punched and kicked at me for what seemed like an eternity.

Hopefully at this point you are wondering, “What kind of a sick and twisted hospital is that?”  After all, this is not how patients are treated at hospitals.  The story is partially correct.  I did in fact suffer such an injury.  The treatment that I received at the hospital, however was nothing short excellent, with caring staff who had one thing in mind for me:  The restoration of my body.  Repairing my injuries in order to make things right again. I told the story of this unmerciful hospital to make a point.  If you have been a part of either the Roman Catholic or Protestant Christian religion, you have likely been taught that God sees sin as the merciless hospital sees injury.  

Where do we get this idea that sin is a moral failure—a coming short of following God’s laws?  Looking back at the history of religious development from primitive to modern times, there seems to be a commonality of fear, superstition and anthropomorphism at the heart of every religion.  In primitive times, people recognized the obvious design of nature and from that, knew that there is either a force or a person who is in control of, or at least influences what happens around them. 

Kind of like at a hockey game where your favourite team wins and you happen to be wearing a certain shirt, you may assume that if you wear that shirt again, your team will win.  It becomes your “lucky shirt” and you wear it every time your team plays in order to bring your team good luck and influence their victory. The same thing happens in the development of religion. For example, you have a good hunting season after you have had a feast on the night of a full moon.  The assumption is made that the feast on that point on the lunar cycle  was an influencer in your good hunting season.  Superstition is born.  

You recognize that people who are more powerful than you need to be appeased in order for you to live in peace and safety and the assumption is made that whatever force or being (let’s call this “God” for the sake of reference) who made the world you live in must also be like this, anthropomorphism is born.

Sin, therefore becomes something of an infraction of the expectations that this deity expects in order for us to enjoy safety, food and health.  A religious system of rule keeping and ceremony is born out of fear of this God in order for Him to provide for your needs. It’s a transactional relationship and anyone in the tribe who breaks the laws is assumed to be putting the whole tribe in danger and is subsequently punished.  

We see this in the Hebrew language of the Old Testament scriptures.  There are three main words for “sin.”

     -chaţţâ’âh chaţţâ’th: (An offence caused by falling short of someone’s expectations of behaviour)

     -chêţ: (A crime.) This is also a subjective term, for example, in Deuteronomy 23:21,23 (NASBS)

 “When you make a vow to the LORD your God, you shall not delay to pay it, for it would be sin in you, and the LORD your God will surely require it of you.  You shall be careful to perform what goes out from your lips, just as you have voluntarily vowed to the LORD your God, what you have promised.”

The person in question only had to pay whatever he promised God because he promised it.  If he doesn’t pay, it is a “sin”, however if he hadn’t promised it, it wouldn’t be a sin to not pay it.

     -châţâ (to miss)

Interestingly enough, looking at the masoretic texts, there seems to be an evolution of thought as to what “sin” is at some point for the Hebrew people.  It is châţâ and its corresponding imagery for “sin” which seems to make it into the language and thinking of the New Testament.  In the Septuagint, which came from much older manuscripts than the masoretic texts, we see a consistency of thought in the wording pertaining to the nature of sin. 

In the Koine Greek language of the New Testament (and the LXX), we find two main words for the word “sin”.

     -Hamartia: (miss the mark) This word has no moral implications.  It carries the imagery of an archer shooting an arrow at a target, but coming short of hitting the “bullseye”.  

Francois DuToit, who is a Greek scholar was kind enough to send this definition of “hamartia” to me:

“The word hamartia, from ha, negative and meros, portion or form, thus to be without your allotted portion or without form, pointing to a disorientated, distorted identity; the word meros, is the stem of morphe, as in 2 Corinthians 3:18 the word metamorphe, with form, is the opposite of hamartia – without form. Sin is to live out of context with the blueprint of one’s design; to behave out of tune with God’s original harmony. Hamartia suggests anything that could possibly distract from the awareness of our likeness. See Deuteronomy 32:18, “You have forgotten the Rock that begot you and have gotten out of step with the God who danced with you!” Hebrew, khul or kheel, to dance.”

       -Paraptoma:  This word gets rendered into either “transgress” or “trespass” in English. Personally, I like the imagery of “transgress” better.  The imagery seems to be more consistent with the Greek. It makes sense when you consider the words “progress” and “regress”. “Pro” means “forward motion” and of course “Re” is “backwards motion”.  The word “transgress” is a combination of the Latin words “trans” which means to “go across laterally” and “gradi” which is “to walk”.   Here’s the imagery that forms in my mind.  I think of a Canadian winter in which there is snow and ice covering the ground.  I am walking towards a goal.  I am “progressing” and am “on target”.  Suddenly, the terrain changes and I find myself walking along a side slope which is slippery.  I start sliding sideways, which takes me off course of my intended goal.  I have “transgressed”. 

Now that we appear to have a completely different definition for what it means to “sin”, the big question becomes:  What is the mark we miss?  What is the goal that we slide away from?

I can no longer believe that sin has anything to do with falling short of Gods moral perfection. I have become convinced that it has everything to do with not recognizing our ontological worth and identity.

In the creation narrative of Genesis, we come away with one essential truth:  We as humans were created in the “image of God”.  We have divine origin.  We were declared by our maker to be “good”.  The Hebrew word used here is “ţôb” which means “complete, and as it should be”.

There is another interesting word in the Hebrew language and a corresponding word in Koine Greek which speak to human value. The Hebrew word is “kâbôd”.  Here is the imagery this word gives us:  Back before the invention of paper currency, if you wished to buy, say a cow for example, the worth of that animal would be equivalent to a certain weight of silver or gold.  Pretend for a moment that our economy still works this way. If you wish to purchase a live cow, in todays valuation, a cow would be worth approximately 1.8 Troy ounces of gold.  In other words, that cow has the kâbôd of 1.8 ounces of gold.  

In Greek, we have similar imagery in the word “doxa”.  To understand this word, picture this:  You are at an auction.  A beige 1979 Plymouth Horizon comes up for bidding.  I know.  It’s unlikely that anyone would actually want to purchase this particular car and that there might even any of these in existence anymore, but work with me here.  The first bidder sees the chance of buying a cheap first car for his kid and offers $100.00. You see the car and it brings back a wave of nostalgia as you had a car just like this in high school. (True story for me unfortunately)  So, you offer $150.00. The bidding war is on!  Others, delusional with auction fever join in, suddenly determined to have this fine automobile.  At the end, the car is sold for an unbelievable $5000.00. Is the car worth that?  Yes.  Why?!?  Because someone was willing to pay that money for it.  Value is a very subjective thing.  Something has value because someone has demand and desire for it.  “Doxa” is the assessed value of something.

How are those two words, “kâbôd“ and “doxa” connected?  They are both translated into English as “glory”.

Read the words of Jesus high priestly prayer in John 17 with this imagery of “glory” in mind:

After Jesus had spoken these words, he looked up to heaven and said, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son so that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all people, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him. And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. I glorified you on earth by finishing the work that you gave me to do. So now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had in your presence before the world existed.

“I have made your name known to those whom you gave me from the world. They were yours, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. Now they know that everything you have given me is from you; for the words that you gave to me I have given to them, and they have received them and know in truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me. I am asking on their behalf; I am not asking on behalf of the world, but on behalf of those whom you gave me, because they are yours. All mine are yours, and yours are mine; and I have been glorified in them. And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them in your name that you have given me. I guarded them, and not one of them was lost except the one destined to be lost, so that the scripture might be fulfilled. But now I am coming to you, and I speak these things in the world so that they may have my joy made complete in themselves. I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. I am not asking you to take them out of the world, but I ask you to protect them from the evil one. They do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you have sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, so that they also may be sanctified in truth.

“I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I desire that those also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory, which you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.

“Righteous Father, the world does not know you, but I know you; and these know that you have sent me. I made your name known to them, and I will make it known, so that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.”

Note how Jesus says, pertaining to Himself: “you have given him authority over all people, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him.”  Who has God given Him?  All people of course.  Yes, He acknowledges the loss of one person, presumably Judas.  This does not imply  a static or irreversible state of being.  For being lost simply makes you eligible for being found.  

Near the end of this beautiful prayer, He says, “The glory (assessed value) that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I desire that those also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory, which you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.“

In other words:  “The assessed value that You have given to me I have given to them.”  Jesus, I believe is the perfect manifestation of the eternal Christ (the enfleshment of God) and thus possesses the same value as God the Father.  He has given us the same value!  How awesome is that?  And why?  So that there may be a praxis of unity.  

Have you ever been in a crowd of people who are incredibly rich, famous or successful in some way that you are not?  There is a hierarchical social structure that automatically forms.  If you are of a low place in society, you don’t feel like you can approach people of higher position as equals. There cannot be unity if there is a perceived difference in the value of people in a crowd. Jesus levels the playing field between us and our maker by giving us the same value…or perhaps by restoring the value we have always had.

At the national mint where currency is printed, a $100 bill is given the value (glory) of $100.  That is the objective value it has.  No more.  No less.  If that bill falls out of its owners pocket and is dropped into a mud puddle on the road, becoming soiled, if cars drive over that bill, damaging it and tearing it, is it still worth $100?  Of course it is.  Neither its poor appearance or its lostness has altered its value.  Should you be so fortunate to find that bill, it can still be traded for something of equal value.  If you trade this $100 bill for something that is only worth $5, you have “missed the mark” and have not treated it according to its true value. 

Each of us as humans have been made in Gods image.  We are declared to be good—complete—as we should be.  This is the assessed value given to us by God Himself!  Throughout our lives however, we are told that we have lesser value.  People do this.  Organizational systems do this to us. The church does this.  Ever heard of the doctrine of “original sin”?  You see, it’s much easier to create a social or systemic structure to your advantage if you can convince other people that they are worth less than you.  This is what we call the “sin of the world”.

That’s right.  Things we do like: murder, theft, coveting, lying, etc., are not sin.  They are symptoms of sin.  The real sin is this:  When you either give to another person or receive from a person or system an assessment of value which is lower than what God has already given you.  This is sin.

When you have a cold, you get a runny nose and a cough. The snot, phlegm and noise of coughing is not the cold.  The rhinovirus is.  The gross stuff that is offensive to everyone around you is simply the symptoms of the virus.

If you have been told and believe that you are ontologically flawed from the get-go, that you are worth nothing and are utterly sinful, that is how you will behave.  Your perceived, assessed value will ultimately be reflected in your behaviour. From your lowered sense of worth, comes “sinful” actions.  It is impossible to consistently live a life that reflects a value higher than what you think you are worth.  Ever wonder why so many religious people tend to fall and fall hard into a lifestyle of “sin”?  They live a disingenuous life with the belief that they are sinful, but hold themselves to a higher sense of morality, because that’s what they believe God expects of them.  It’s the same transactional mindset of primitive religion.  The problem is, that you cannot keep up the facade.  You will ultimately fail in your quest for a “moral” life. It doesn’t matter if you are a high profile preacher or just an average person.  The only difference is that the high profile guy gets noticed more.  

The gospel has nothing to do with a prayer you must pray, a set of beliefs you must hold to and behaviour you must keep in order for God to be pleased enough with you that He will let you into heaven one day.  The gospel is the announcement that you have never lost your value. You are worth the same as God Himself.  You are as you should be. You are good.  The gospel is that we don’t have to live from a low valuation of self.

The words of Jesus in Luke 10:26-28 (NASBS):

“And He said to him, ‘What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?’ And he answered, ‘You SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’  And He said to him, ‘You have answered correctly; do THIS AND YOU WILL LIVE.’” 

Jesus is not telling this inquisitive lawyer how to act in order to please God.  He is telling him how you act naturally when you behave from a knowledge of what you are already worth!  He is describing how to live as one who is fully and beautifully human!  Whenever you treat someone with kindness, whenever you refuse to respond to violence with violence, whenever you put the needs of someone else ahead of yourself, you are behaving in the most natural, truly human way. You are behaving from who you are. This is what pleases God. When we engage in relationship with Him, we participate in the healing of the world. 

In the first chapter of the gospel of John, John the Baptist sees Jesus coming toward him and announces, “Behold the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.”  That is indeed what Jesus started, but did not complete.  You see, it was important for God to become enfleshed as one of us, to bring back dignity to humanity and to restore our “glory” as humanity had completely lost sight of our value.  Jesus gives us permission to believe that we are good.  And because we are good, we can behave in a way that reflects who we are.  I believe that “taking away the sin of the world” is a task that needs to continue.  It is a job that each of us is called to. Each of us needs to communicate to other people that we come into contact with everyday that they too are priceless.  They too are created in the image of God and are complete and good as they are.  We need to participate with God in taking away the devaluation of humanity and restore proper worth revealing every person as equal.  It seems like a big job, but it really comes naturally when you live from your true self.

Once more…and if it seems like I am repeating myself, I am.  You are NOT morally depraved.  You do NOT have a sin nature.  

You ARE good.  You ARE created in the image of God and share His value.  Your nature is love and you can only thrive when you participate in what is natural for you.  

Repeat this to yourself every day. Change your mind about who you are and watch how your behaviour naturally shifts as you understand who you have always been!

Living in a Nightmare

I found myself on the rooftop of the Calgary tower grasping tenaciously to the antennae mount.  I looked around me and surveyed the panoramic view of downtown Calgary with the majestic Rocky Mountains in the background.  The wind was chilly and breezy up here 626 feet above the busy traffic.  

What on earth was I doing up here?

Suddenly a gust of wind caught me by surprise and I lost my grip. I started sliding down the long slope toward the edge.  With my heart pounding and eyes wide, clawing futility at the smooth surface, I desperately looked for another handhold.  I had to stop the slide and get back inside the safety of the building! There was nothing to grab. 

Over the edge I went. Terrified, with a primal scream.

That’s always how I woke up from this recurring childhood nightmare.  Suddenly wide awake with a racing heart and soaked in a cold sweat.  I don’t know why I would continually have this nightmare, I just know that in that dream, it was very real.  My body did not know that I was safe in bed.   As far as it was concerned.  I was about to die.

Science has shown us that our mental perceptions have a direct impact on the health of our bodies.  Good and bad.  

If you have the perception of fear, that you are in danger of any kind, (Not just eminent physical danger, but also economic, relational, existential danger, etc.) your adrenal gland will produce a hormone called “cortisol”.  Prolonged exposure to cortisol in your body has been known to cause all sorts of physical maladies including suppressed immunity, weight gain, decreased libido, severe fatigue, muscle weakness, depression, loss of emotional control, cognitive difficulties, high blood pressure, bone loss, among other concerning problems.  

If however your perception is that you are safe, loved and accepted and your life has meaning, your body will produce serotonin, dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin. These actually benefit your body and contribute to good physical health.  

Imagine if you will, the mental stress of living most of your life in fear, with the perception that there is an invisible being who is all powerful and perfect, and that you came into existence tainted by sin and are unacceptable to this powerful invisible being. 

What if you were told that somehow you were born, separated from the One who is existence?

From the get-go, you have been placed on the top of a terrifyingly tall tower and sliding helplessly down a slippery roof towards a drop off which only leads to an eternity of fiery torment with only a short time to find a handhold.  

Fortunately for you, this all powerful being punished His son in your place and He took what you apparently deserved even though you were born this way just because He had to punish someone to regain His sense of honour.  (If you find this logic to be unconvincing, weird and perhaps repugnant, don’t worry.  Your not alone!)  if you are lucky enough to live in a culture where you can hear this “gospel” message and believe correctly, you will go to a place called heaven when you die.

You won’t drop off the edge.  But somehow you are supposed to be happy about this, despite the screams of everyone else who have gone over the edge and have no hope of being saved.

What about the Sentinelese people who have been isolated from the rest of civilization long before the time of Jesus?  What about the child born in Pakistan to a Muslim family who will grow up worshiping the wrong god, “knowing” that Jesus is only a prophet?  What about that childhood friend of mine who grew up sociologically disadvantaged, was turned off by this slanderous idea of what God is like, who turned to a life of crime as a young adult and was killed in a bad drug deal?  

What about the vast majority of humans to ever walk on this earth?

All destined to be tortured forever with no hope of reprieve in a place called hell?

If this is reality, Einstein was wrong.  The universe is not a friendly place.  

God is not love.

Feel the cortisol coursing through your veins yet?

Did you know that there is a “gospel” that actually is good news?

In Colossians 1:15-22  Paul states: “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation; for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers—all things have been created through him and for him. He himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together. He is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, by making peace through the blood of his cross.

And you who were once estranged and hostile IN MIND, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his fleshly body through death, so as to present you holy and blameless and irreproachable before him”

Paul tells us that everything which exists cannot be separated from God who is existence. The only perception of separation and estrangement we have ever had from the God who is LOVE has always been in our minds.  Jesus who is the exact image of this invisible God simply came to demonstrate that we have always been loved, accepted, valued and forgiven.

We have been given permission to change our perception.  We are invited to partake in what has always been ours.  We have been given permission to exchange fear for love. Einstein was correct.  

The universe is indeed a friendly place.

The message of the western stream of Christianity (Catholicism and Protestantism) which have both spread the nightmare of St. Augustine has not been good for our physical health. It has not been good for our mental health. It has not been good for our societal health.  It has led to the dehumanizing of others who do not think like we do.  It has perpetuated the recycling of retributive violence. It has sucked hope from our imagination and replaced it with a message that is as healthy for our minds as an E. coli tainted bag of chips would be to our bodies. It has not brought healing, but has led to widespread soul-sickness and despair.  

What if there is a greater hope?  What if we woke up from the nightmare of separation and existential danger and became aware that we are already in Christ and Christ is in all?  What if we woke up to the realization that God has never been angry with us.  What if we started living like each person shares the same value as Jesus Himself?  

What if the gospel message means the restoration of the world in the here and now and that we have been invited to participate in making that a reality?

The gospel is the announcement that you have always been forgiven, loved and embraced by the maker of the universe. It is the invitation to wake up from the nightmare you have been living in and realize that you have always been safe in the arms of God. 

The Sculpture of You

The slab of white marble stood there, large and very heavy, but otherwise uninteresting.  Just a big cold rectangle of lifeless stone, sitting on the workshop floor, covered in dust. 

That’s what most people saw.  

One young man saw something completely different.

In August of 1501, a 26 year old artist by the name of Michelangelo was hired to make something beautiful out of this chunk of rock which had been sitting in the workshop for so long.  More than two years later, after much careful labour, there stood a priceless masterpiece which has been jealously preserved over the centuries as it is truly irreplaceable. 

Of course, this is the nearly seventeen foot tall statue of David, depicting him as a young man about to go to battle against the giant Goliath.  

It is rumoured that upon being congratulated at the unveiling of this statue, someone asked Michelangelo, 

“How in God’s name could you have achieved a masterpiece like this from a crude slab of marble?” 

To which he replied, “It was easy, All I did was chip away everything that didn’t look like David.”

The statue of David had been there all along.  

As long as that slab of marble had been in existence, it was hidden deep within.  There were simply things there that weren’t David, which needed to be removed.  And that’s exactly what the master sculptor did.

When you look at your self what do you see?

Do you see a failure? Someone who isn’t smart enough, not strong enough, someone who will never be enough? You shrink away from others, rarely making eye contact, imagining how the world looks down on you. 

Imagining how God Himself must be disappointed with you.

Maybe you project yourself as someone who is better than everyone else.  Deep down inside you feel small—insecure in who you think you are and you need to project an image of someone much greater that your perceived self. I am strong and independent! I don’t need anyone’s help!  I can do…and try to do everything myself!

I will even earn God’s favour. 

Both ways of thinking come from a position of ego. They are a false image of yourself. They are everything that is not you.  Everything that needs to be chiselled off to reveal the real you who has always been there.  

The creation poem in the book of Genesis tells us that we (mankind) were created in the image of God and God called us “good”.  The Hebrew word used here is טוב which means, “complete”.  Being made in the image of God means that we are the expression of God just as the light and heat from the Sun are the expression of the sun. It means that we are relational creatures who are made to live life receiving love from God and unselfishly pouring out what we have been given into others around us.  We find our identity in who God says we are. Not who we think we are, or who others say we are.  

Once we look to ourselves or others for our identity, we find ourselves behaving as we believe we are, based on false information…false identity.  We lose our ability to receive love or pass it on as we start to perceive the world around us as a world of scarcity.  We are driven deeper into this false reality until we see ourselves as an ugly and useless marble monolith.  

The great sculptor sees who you truly are. He sees past the stone facade and admires the priceless work of art that IS you.  

Why would you look to the opinion of other people to define you when the great sculptor already has?  Will you let Him take hammer and chisel to your false self so that you can experience life as you were meant to live?  

Fully Alive. 

This is a time consuming endeavour which will not always be enjoyable, in fact, it will be at times—painful!  It’s never easy letting go of everything that we thought gave us meaning and security, but oh the relief when that crushing weight falls to the ground with the relentless and precise chipping away of the hammer and chisel.  As Soren Kierkegaard has said, “Now with the help of God, I shall become myself.”

Meister Eckhart also brilliantly states, “God is not found in the soul by adding anything, but by a process of subtraction.” 

Now it’s one thing to be told that you and I were created “good”, but how do we understand that we have never become “bad” in our very essence, especially knowing the things that we do?  God demonstrates this thing called “grace” which is to treat us like who we are instead of how we behave. This grace was dramatically demonstrated to humanity in person of Jesus as He revealed to us who God is and who we are. 

Daniel Skillman writes, “God doesn’t love you because of what Jesus did. 

God loves you simply for you. 

Jesus did what He did because God loves you. 

So, to be clear, you are not some filthy worm that God has to cover up with Jesus’ identity to love you.  

Rather, Jesus’ self sacrifice is God’s expression of God’s love for you just as you are.”

Let’s live in a way that recognizes the irreplaceable value—the work of art that is you and me, and everyone else on this planet. 

Why I Recommend Raising Children

As I reflect upon my 22nd Father’s Day, I have to wonder why it is that my wife and I went to the trouble and expense of having children. It’s not like I regret having children, I just can’t help but to look back in time and marvel at the sheer cost of the experience. 

From the day they are born, children demand constant attention—at least our oldest did.  Our youngest two were adopted from Haiti. We didn’t know them when they were born, but experienced incredible stress and expense later on in the process of bringing them home to us.  I’ve learned that kids seem to always need food and copious amounts of clothing as they keep growing because of all of the food you need to give them.  We ended up needing a  bigger house  to accommodate our growing family which cost much more than the previous house.  We needed a bigger vehicle—a minivan.  Trust me, minivans are very practical vehicles which are perfect for hauling a family around, but there’s a storage problem…there’s just no place to put your dignity!  My kids to this day are always making messes that I have to clean up. They constantly break things around the house that I need to fix. And as they get older, they break more expensive things—like cars!  

Then there’s the time spent.  My wife and I used to be able to enjoy the luxury of time together, just having a quiet evening at home by ourselves or going out to visit friends or whatever.  When you have kids, your schedule suddenly takes a different orbit.  It all revolves around them.  Driving to different school, youth group, sports events, camp, birthday parties…etc.  It simply never ends!

And then there’s the times as a parent when your children are hurt and you hurt twice as much as they do.  If you are a parent, you know what I’m talking about. Your teenage daughter is crying and heartbroken because her close friends have decided that she is no longer important to them—and you feel angry at the injustice of teenage social structure.  Your son starts making life decisions that you know will end up bringing him hardship later in life and he just won’t listen to you.  You worry for him.  For his future.  You discover that you would sooner put yourself between them and danger, perhaps even risking your life to preserve theirs.  No matter how much your child brings you joy or heaps sorrow on your heart, you are there for them. You would never give up on your child. 

Ever!

What is going on here?

Time for a moment of vulnerable honesty, which I believe everyone who reads this can relate to—if you are introspective and completely honest with yourself. 

I don’t think that I truly learned to love until I became a dad.  

Now the word “love” is one of those words that has largely lost its meaning in our culture.  Let me explain:  In the original language of the New Testament, the word “love” is rendered from three greek words:  Phileo; which is a sentimental feeling where you have gotten used to something or someone and would miss that person or thing if you found it/him/her missing from your life.  There’s Eros; which is a feeling of desire; it can be sexual desire or simply wanting something you don’t yet have, like that new car.  The final word rendered as “love” is Agape.  Whereas the first two words are feelings, this is an action word. It is the lifestyle where you are pouring out from your very being into the life of someone else.  This is when you think of someone else’s well being ahead of your own.  This is when you are motivated solely for the good of the other person.  You are not thinking of how this could benefit you. 

This is Agape.  

This is the kind of love that is God’s very essence. 

Philippians 2:3-8 beautifully illustrates this:  

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus,

who, though he was in the form of God,

did not regard equality with God

as something to be exploited,

but emptied himself,

taking the form of a slave,

being born in human likeness.

And being found in human form,

he humbled himself

and became obedient to the point of death—

even death on a cross.”

When I was younger, I thought that I loved people.  I thought that it was love that drew me to the young woman that would become my wife.  When I look back, I realize that every “loving” thing I did for people had the motivation of benefiting me somehow.   I always hoped that people would notice me and how nice I was and that I would be accepted because of the things I did.  Maybe I could even impress important people and end up working for them which would give me greater money earning opportunity.  That’s what I was after.  Prestige, power and possessions. 

Let’s be honest…for most young men including myself, Agape is not what draws us into a relationship with a young woman.  99% of the time it is Eros.  I’m no exception.  There’s a desire for sex to benefit…me, a desire of the social status of having a girlfriend that also benefits…me and a desire to not be alone which benefits…you guessed it. Me.  Phileo develops as this person becomes a familiar fixture in your life and then Agape takes years to form.

That’s where children come in.

Pretty much everyone in my life does not need me—including my wife. They can all live quite well, independent of me.  My kids however do need me, though that is changing as they grow older. My kids don’t really benefit me much on a practical level and never have.  As a dad, I have found that pouring my life out into the lives of my children when they cannot possibly return to me what I have done for them has been and continues to be a picture of what God is always doing for me.  For you.  I have had the enormous privilege of participating with the divine, in the praxis of love for my children.  I have learned what it means to love by doing. And by doing, I am learning to love others…I mean truly love.  

Agape love. 

23 years after exchanging wedding vows with my wife, I actually LOVE her largely because of what I have learned from being a father.

And yes.  My children bring me unfathomable joy. You see, this is the inevitable end result of being involved in God’s business—participating in His very nature. After all, we were designed for this!

Why should you have children?

Because they are inconvenient, noisy, expensive, time consuming, often disrespectful and they will need you more than you need them.  You will learn to love!

Happy Father’s Day!